Updated: Sep 9, 2019
Where do we fit into the universe?
What is a Universe?
Where did I come from, and why am I here?
What is it that we're supposed to be doing in life?
What is our purpose in life?
Are we born with the natural ability to create and modify our bodies and the world?
What responsibility do we have to use our power in the presence of what are arguably the greatest threats to the future of our lives, our world, and even our species?
In the late 1990s and early 2000s, research has revealed the following facts:
The universe, our world, and our bodies are made of a shared field of energy that was scientifically recognised in the 20th century and is now identified by names that include the field, the quantum hologram, the mind of God, nature's mind, and the Divine Matrix.'
In the field of the Divine Matrix, "things" that have been connected physically and then separated act as if they are still linked, through a phenomenon known as entanglement.
Human DNA directly influences what happens in the Divine Matrix in a way that appears to defy the laws of time and space.'
Human belief (and the feelings and emotions surrounding it) directly changes the DNA that affects what occurs in the Divine Matrix.
When we shift our beliefs about our bodies and our world, the Divine Matrix translates that change into the reality of our lives! This means that we create our own reality. We are the only responsible of our own destiny and life. It is always not late to learn to watch our mind, to control thoughts and feelings.
Have the choice to have only beautiful and helpful thoughts, the capacity to transform the negative into positive with the power of decisions, to think and act positively.
I am convinced, now, that illnesses are an external physical somatic expression of our negative feelings. What we think, what we feel, what we keep inside as repressed emotions, manifest outside like an explosion, a transformation, a loss, and affect our body, our mind, our internal organs, our blood, our DNA, our liquids, our life, our relationships, what we are.
All our fears, the lies we tell ourselves, our anger, our resentments became illnesses, physical, mental, distress, embarrassment, death.
I wasn't aware before... for so many years.
Surely I was living in a different distant world, made of obscurity and negativity.
It is like taking heavy drugs, the only difference is that this natural drugs was created by my chemical emotional reactions and that was the worst thing that it could have happened to me.
But, as I said I wasn't aware. I wasn't conscious. I wasn't awake.
I wasn't putting myself at the top of my list. I was thinking more about others, what they could feel. I was forgotten about the most important person in my life, myself, my best friend.
I thought there was not exit, but I found one, I tried to explore myself through my photography personal projects like a therapy having conversations with other human beings, with open heart, without any judgment, letting the energy of connection flowing like magic, and strangely through desperation and pain at some point a new door opened up to me.
A realisation! Eureka!
I felt like I wasted all my life, but I needed that shit to become who I am now!
Shit becomes gold!It is the principle of alchemy.
I was born to learn this in this experience called life and to find a way to go forward to understand the truth about myself, even if there was sad.
Most of us are not aware of our own story. I was one of them.
In my video art - called 'Do You love yourself?' Monologue. Total length 9 : 41 min, I talk about my personal experience, what I learned in 40 years, went through all pain, and then I got ill.
The doctor said:
" Close yourself in a room and cry! You cannot change your situation.
Your illness can be curable, but there is not a way to get healthy again, as before.
So you need to change all, diet, life, thoughts....be courageous and follow the therapy I will give you forever"
And I said, what does it mean forever?
The pain I had, brought me into the deepest hell. I have been into hospital for 55 days.
You cannot imagine where this experience can bring you. You suffer, but also your mind stops to work, you become numb. You have hallucinations, you are not capable to reason anymore if you let yourself go.
I didn't know what real pain was because I never experienced it so strongly. It eats you from inside, like a coward parasite.
Pain cannot be understood, if you don't live it on your own skin.
And when you experience and touch your deepest pain, and you are alone with yourself, you become very vulnerable; you are not capable to move or breath properly, to lift up your eyes or even eat, drink water, talk or having the energy to interact with someone who is sat next to you.
After that experience nothing can stop you again, nothing.
You build an inner strength that cannot be easily broken again. You get more confident.
You don't have fear anymore, because you touch almost death, you visited the hell and pain gets in your way to wake you up. And when you touch that stage, it is awful, because you become helpless, incapable to do anything, you are simple a mass of flesh, without life force.
Then, the healing process begins (if you are lucky enough to be still alive), from inside, the capacity to be able to get through all that painful stage of life scream loudly and fight back, to try to see the good in all of that shit!
Being capable to see again the light, because you want to see only the light and you want to forget the unpleasant rest.
How can I get better? I asked myself
How can I get out from this nightmare? Am I having a nightmare, is all of that real? How will I be after recovering? Will I be able to be myself again?
How can I change my life?
Black is the colour.
'Developing a new way of thinking, a new attitude, new actions towards myself and life was the answer. Take my time, be patient and be in control of myself in deep waters.
Step after step I will be able to comeback to life again .... be strong and don't give up.
I said to myself.
It is the only way, there is not other choice. You have to get up!
It takes time, it takes courage, it takes effort.
I am sure that if we are lucky to survive from illnesses, we are able to cure ourselves, in a natural way. The body is a perfect machine. The mind is a powerful mechanism, that we don't know yet. The heart knows what he wants and it will bring you there. Your intuition will tell what to do and it is a matter of trust in yourself and in life.
I want to believe in this.
I want to trust in life. I trust that all will be fine.
I have in mind to document all of this journey through photography, when I will feel better.
I don't know how yet. I still don't know what I will do to raise again.
I know that I am here, still recovering.
It is taking long time.
And this time will never get back to me.
Did I create all of this?
Maybe I did.
If I would have loved myself more and be more attentive looking at my body, at my mind and at my heart surely all of this would not have happened.
But now the story is different. And I am still here, more alive than before.
I am only going up now because I deserve the best. We all deserve the best.
Act with intention and be aware. Watch your mind, always!!!
Fear is a liar, your mind is a liar.
Be in control.
Cure yourself, and the universe will help you.
by Loredana Denicola
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