love, sex and relationships
| Black and white video-photography project | Film photography | Mamiya II 6x7 | 2015-ongoing |
love, sex and relationships is a collection of intimate conversations between myself and others.
It is a multidisciplinary documentation project that includes questions posed to myself, couples, and individuals, who live or have lived in a love relationship. It also contains reflections, thoughts, emotions and poems, on the theme of love, sex and relationships.
“I felt a strange attraction towards him, which I could not understand and control. He was often drunk, fond of pornography, ready to accuse me, humiliate me, offend me. But I wanted to understand what it was that led me to remain in such a relationship: what is love? Life confronted me once again with psychological, physical and emotional abuse, but this time it was different; I was aware.
Finally I was able to observe the pain as something separate from me and became conscious of the abuse. I used my camera, video documentation and writing as forms of expression to get myself out of a somewhat oppressive situation and understand why I was ‘in love’ with this man. I felt guilty, angry, frustrated and jealous of someone who didn’t respect me. Or perhaps was I not respecting myself? Too much empathy hurts at some point until we have the courage to abandon everything that doesn’t make us feel good.
This is where the strength of loving oneself resides.”
Twenty – five people took part in the project, including couples and single individuals met online and on the streets of London.
I explored different types of relationships, from heterosexual relationships to homosexual ones, single mothers, divorced or separated couples, and more.
Addiction to love can lead to emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, violence, jealousy, obsessive thoughts, pain and confusion. Many of us are trapped in toxic sexual and love relationships.
After the interview, I invited the couples or individuals to represent their relationship to the camera in any way they wished. Traditionally, a photographer seeks to capture telling images of their subjects. My approach, however, was to discover how the subjects of my project might portray themselves.
“I wanted to explore what it is like for others to be in a relationship. What is love? What is sex? What is a relationship ?Do you love yourself? Does education, culture, religion confuse us? What do we fear? Are we free?”
The project began before Brexit and Covid 19, in multi-ethnic London, while I was in a love relationship with my ex-boyfriend, which later became abusive and developed the theme of love. I didn’t love myself.
The video photography project includes analog photographs in black and white, a video documentation (16 individual videos, total duration 6 hours), a trailer, a nine minutes monologue titled do you love yourself? and an ongoing photography book.
The video documentation is recorded in London and it is in English with English subtitles.
You can follow the project of love, sex and relationships on Instagram
FILIZ, single mother with a teenager
GANGA, divorced after 10 years married
GILL and RICHARD, married for 30 years
EDWIN and GIULIA, together since 18 years
ESPERANZA, married for 30 years, separated not divorced with a daughter
AGNESE and VIRGINIA, married for 2 years
JAMES and JOAKIM in a love relationship
TONI KING, single, divorced, with a teenager he can't see
SARAH and ROBERT, married for 13 years with three children
WEN WEI and VALERIA, 6 month together, getting married in 6 months
GIULIA and DIANA, living and working together since two years
ROBIN and PAOLA, married since 2 years
MUM and DAD, married for 45 years with four children
ERICA, 7 years old
LASZLO, my ex-boyfriend
LOREDANA, the interviewer