l'oscurità, ma io ho una luce
| Digital photography | Mobile photography | Photography project 2018 | working in progress | book |
l'oscurità, ma io ho una luce is an autobiographical work that deals with my illness and the discovery of inner strength and light.
I looked at myself in a mirror, and couldn’t accept the emaciated image as my own. this time, I felt a stranger to myself.
I took on this project during the most acute period of my illness. I was 55 days in hospital. I’d lost 16 kilos in two months.
I was skeletal, too weak to lift my head from the pillow. my skin had weakened. my digestive system was fucked.
At 42 I looked like an old lady.
I felt impotent, I wanted to die. I needed to find strength to live.
I began writing feelings and thoughts in English and Italian on pieces of paper ... and taking pictures with my camera and mobile, to distract myself from pain and to find comfort that then, I put together.
I decided to create a journal of my life in hospital, to trust that everything would be ok again.
I hope that sharing my experiences might help others that are struggling.
Sometimes, everything doesn't always go our way, but the important thing is to never give up.
At the end of the tunnel of darkness there is light.
There is a light, look for it!
It has always been there with you ...
You are Light
Shine as bright as you can ...
I was too sick to leave my bed. in fact, I was too weak even to lift my head from the pillow.
At the age of 42, I found myself almost dead. I had lost 16 kilos: I looked skeletal.
How many times - I cried.
So many times I accused myself of being neglectful.
I didn’t have veins; I didn’t have liquids in my body - I was shrunken and de-hydrated.
It was awful.
I could only breath.
But … I was still alive.
I knew I had a choice - to get control of the situation, or to leave that same control to others.
I chose to go forward, and heal myself. I chose ‘life’.
When slowly, slowly, I felt a bit better (… and it took me 6 months) I decided to get information, to study my ‘disease’: I read books on biochemistry, I learned about nutrition, aliments’ combination to help digestion, and yoga and qi gong, to calm my mind - discovering other, ‘alternative’ ways to help my body, my mind and my spirit: to accept my sickness, that I only had created, and to accelerate my healing.
Health is a choice.
Illness is not a disease.
It is an imbalance in your body, which tells you that something is wrong - and that you can help yourself to grow or to recede.
If you give your cells what they need, and if you care for your body, which is your temple, and for your mind, which is your will, and for your spirit, which is your strength, and further, if you care for your emotions, you will not become sick ...
How many of us choose to be well? How many of us actually know what we feel, what we think?
We are multidimensional energy systems, and our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes create energy fields that influence our biochemistry and affect our health.Things must change: we need to be educated to know how our body and mind work.
It is known that we can implant a new artificial heart surgically, but we cannot prevent or cure heart disease.
The answer is that few resources are devoted to study of the body’s healing system, or to helping patients to understand and support their own health at a cellular level.
Everyone is unique. everyone is human, and - from a suffering viewpoint - equally in need.
We are all looking for health, for happiness, for love.
Yet patients are regarded as machines, not as unique individuals.
Everyone with the same complaint receives the same treatment - regardless of biochemical individuality, which could see two people with the same so-called ‘disease’ needing different treatments, since no two people’s cells malfunction for the same reason.
Adopting a more rational system of medicine would result in an enormous reduction in healthcare costs by eliminating hundreds of thousands of physicians, and closing thousands of hospitals - not to mention the potential financial ruin of drug companies.
The majority of physicians support efforts by state medical and government regulatory boards to suppress alternative approaches. Bad things have happened to doctors who step out of line.
Physicians who have dared to introduce alternative treatments have had their licences revoked, and been financially ruined.
Money is at stake, and alternative treatments are discouraged.
Physicians, in modern medicine, are not able to listen to a patient on an emotional level, and help him to understand the cause of a disease and give advice. they are not focused on finding the causes; they are interested in giving drugs to stop the symptoms.
Unfortunately they have been trained in this way, throughout their professional life. But this approach doesn’t cure diseases.
Instead, it has doctors leave you alone, completely lost, full of doubt, waiting for the disease to develop symptoms, that they can categorize, and match to a listed pathology written in their medical journal.
Afterwards comes the procedure; they give us drugs, according to the pathology identified, after months of symptoms.
Unable to stand pain, we take the drugs prescribed, praising the doctor as the only one who knows about our illness.
But how can someone who has never had my pathology help me?
... extracts from the book: l'oscurità, ma io ho una luce by Loredana Denicola