the theatre of the mind
| Digital photography | Interviews | Photography project 2016-2020 |

the theatre of the mind is a video-photographic project centered on trust and self-exploration of oneself through conversations with people as a means of enrichment, discovery and acceptance. I would wander around London in search of individuals who attract me. I would approach them on the street or wherever I happened to be, explaining my interest and my involvement in a photography documentary video project called The theatre of the mind. If they agreed, I would enter their life, just for one day.

I would visit them in their homes, conduct video interviews, and take photographs. We would play, engage and interact.

“I am driven by intuition. I want to explore their inner worlds and know whether they reflect mine, in that moment. I want to discuss the meaning of life, any lies they might have told themselves, their hidden secrets that sometimes cause pain, their childhood, life, sex, what keeps them awake at night, love, their fears, their depth, and the essence of us simple human beings. These are unique stories, fragments of lives that represent humanity. Above all, I want to get to know them.”

What is a mind? And what defines a theatre?

The combination of these two words makes me ponder whether what we believe, we create.

So, what is imagination?

Do we shape reality?

Do we have a predetermined destiny?

Do we choose who we become?

Are we influenced by society, politics, religion, education, and the fear of others’ judgements?

Do we comprehend our own potential and true selves?

Have you ever asked yourself, "Who am I? Am I merely an actor or truly myself?

the theatre of the mind is an installation project that includes photographs and seven videos.The videos are in English with English/Italian subtitles. Each video ranges from 25 to 50 minutes in length, for a total over 5 hours.

Below you can find an excerpt of photographs and this is the link to watch the videos of "The theatre of the mind".

The legs with fishnet stockings of a man

The cross-dresser

what is cross-dressing?

Nobody tried to abuse of you in there?

No, no, I had no troubles when I was in prison. No trouble at all, I felt safe.

That’s quite weird isn’t it, that you felt safe in a prison? Why do you want to dress like a woman?

Because I feel comfortable, I feel it’s me.

I don’t dress to impress other people, I dress for me and I buy what I like. I’ve had people laugh at me in the street, but I don’t mind, because I look at them laughing at me and I think - Well, I put a smile to your face!

What’s your sexual orientation?

Bisexual. I am not more on one way than the other. To be crude, I like vagina as much as I like cock. I have no preference.

I am completely bisexual.

That’s the best option I think ...

If I am with a girl I enjoy that, and if I’m with a man, I enjoy it equally.

I choose my religion, Islam

what is Islam? what does it teach?

Why do you wear a burka? Why is it black?

In Islam it doesn’t say you have to wear black. You can wear any colour. The reason I wear it , it’s more modest, and it is a barrier between me and the outside world and the sins that are there. So if I wear it I feel like I’m shielded from the corruption of the outside world and it’s a form of modesty, so, like, men don’t see your appearance, they don’t see your figure … The only reason we wear black is out of convenience, because we can wear different colours, there is no restriction on that.

Why hair are considered attractive in Islam, and why not feet, hands or faces?

Faces and hair are both considered attraction because is the first thing you notice when you see a person. When you look at the face, you judge that person, you look at that person, you don’t always see the feet first, it’s the face you see first and that is why we cover our face.

MADKILLERMILLER, an unimportant person with a business card

why are we looking for troubles?

May I ask, how was your childhood?

It was a bit rough, from what I could remember. I can vaguely remember my real dad. Then he disappeared for some reason. My mum had multiple sclerosis, she can’t walk. It wasn’t that bad at first. My sister, she was living with her dad, a different dad to mine. So for several years it was just me and my mum, and I’m a little, and she’s disabled. So it was kind of looking after each other. And then she met one of her old flames from Ireland. My mum is Irish and she started dating him. Then she got married, so he became a stepdad. They had a kid together, my little brother, and then my stepdad turned really violent and nasty and started beating me and my mum. So I ended up in care, foster homes.

Then, I met a crowd of friends, ended up getting in legal troubles with them, like, all sort of stuff, mainly like stealing cars, then prison a few times.

A transgender person in the midst of nature

Finally I am a woman!

what is gender dysphoria?

What is the difference between sex and gender?

Oh, big difference. People automatically assume that your gender would determine your sexuality, and because I went from man to woman, people assume I would be interested in men. Whereas truthfully, my sexuality hasn’t changed, and I would now be classified as a ‘lesbian’.

What is transgender and why are they called transgender?

‘Trans’ implies switching, changing over, that’s where the trans word comes from, obviously. So, transgender - switching gender. Ninety-five per cent of the time, what it means to be transgender is the person feels that they were born with the wrong outward appearance. In my case I grew up, developing through puberty, as a boy but I never felt that I was that boy. And then I tried to live as a man. One of my partners considered that as an excuse for infidelity, because I wasn’t man enough. My answer to that one is that I never was a man.

LOUIS GREY MAGUS is my alter ego

why do we build an alter ego?

One of the reasons why I turned into fetish and to being dominated — in my normal life not only was I a victim in my younger life, but also, let’s just say I wasn’t nice towards certain individuals. To be submissive and to be punished, it was a kind of a penance. I have inflicted pain so, why shouldn’t it be that I receive pain as well?

Do you enjoy pain? What does mean to be fetish?

To be fetish … they are behaviour patterns which are not considered normal in society. Like, you don’t go to the end in the street and say, ‘Hey stay still, I am going to tie you up, and blindfold you and leave you on the side on the road’. Fetish is based on consensual behaviour between two adults who are able to reason and to fully understand the scenario. Trust and respect has to be a key element.

In the fetish and BDSM world, you need to build foundation of knowledge of one another, your boundaries, what things you’re into, things you’re not into or your pain barriers. Some can endure severe pain, whereas others can only endure a lower level. Personal safety is paramount. If a scenario is happening that goes beyond a barrier, then rather than say, ‘Stop! Stop! Stop!’, you establish a conduct code.

A man sitting on a branch with a headdress made of teddy bears

I am my emotions ...

what is a performance?

Is there any political, sexual message in what you do?

I think for society in general, it is not normal what I do. But I am a ‘normal’ person. If you respect other people I don’t understand why they shouldn’t respect you. If you are not offensive towards anybody, you don’t rub your ass in anybody face, I don’t see why people would come and be offended by you. If a woman wears high heels, there is no scandal about it, what is the scandal about? It’s because the man wears high heels or they shouldn’t wear high heels? Are the high heels wrong or because a man behaves like a woman? Is dressing up like. a woman a bad thing? What is the problem? We grew up with the idea that women can wear high heels or beautiful dresses. But if a man like me does, what is the problem? Is because the dress is wrong or it is because the man is behaving like a woman? Because I am not a drag queen, some people who don’t know much about these different worlds, they don’t look at me. They are scared, they avoid me, because I look like a man, I have a beard as you can see, but I can see as well from the tail of my eye that they instead look at my back, my low back and my long legs, because I have long legs.